Our Bouncing Baby Boy

Since getting married, I have always wanted four kids. Most people thought we were crazy for having three. But to us, our family didn't quite feel complete. After Mabry, we got pregnant again with no problems. We started prenatal care and miscarried soon after. We were sad...but I remember saying, "If this is the worst thing I ever have to go through, I'm going to be okay". Wasn't that wishful thinking?

Six months later we were pregnant again. While spending time in adoration one evening, it occurred to me that I should leave my teaching job and stay at home with the kids. The thought kind of took me by surprise. I had never been one who wanted to stay at home. I enjoyed teaching. I liked the social interaction with adults. But after many prayers and several signs that I was needed at home...I turned in my resignation.

This time the pregnancy went perfectly. We didn't find out the sex of the baby, so we really couldn't wait to meet our newest addition. One of my very best friends was my delivery nurse and she was able to introduce us to our 9 pound, 3 ounce baby boy. He was big...three pounds bigger than all of my other children. But, he was perfect. He had a perfect bill of health. He was so strong...even picking his head up on day one. Life was good!

Max picking up his head to look at Mommy:)

We named this little blessing Max Kolbe Machac. He's named after Saint Maximilian Kolbe, a Catholic priest martyred at Auschwitz. A strong name for our strong boy.

We brought Max home and didn't look back. The days turned into weeks. The weeks turned into months. Every Sunday, we would take our crew to church. And I would thank God for another uneventful week. Thank Him for keeping us all healthy and safe. I was thankful...but I really didn't appreciate how much I had to be thankful for.

Max was a perfect fit for our family. He was a great baby. He loved his brother and sisters. He loved being outside. He loved being naked. In fact, if he was ever fussy, I'd take off his clothes, lay him on the bed and watch him grin.

Right now, as I write, my heart aches. My arms ache. I want to hold him. I want to kiss him. I want to smell him. I want to scream! I want to cry!! I want to feel better!!!

Until I do...I'm trusting in God, praying really hard and focusing on the many blessings I have in my life.

"One great means of preserving constant peace and tranquility of heart is to receive all things as coming from the hands of God, whatever they may be, and in whatever way they may come."
-St. Dorotheus

"Three times I appealed to the Lord about this, that it would leave me, but he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness." So I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me."  -2 Corinthians 12: 8-9