My husband surprised me with his wisdom. He responded to my question..."what do you mean? The purpose of life is to get to heaven and to bring others closer to God. That's exactly what Max has done."
I knew he was right. I missed my son, but he is in heaven. And his death has led many others to reconsider their relationship with God.
Originally, I imagined that if Aaron and I arrive in heaven, God will point to other souls and say, "See? These souls were saved because Max joined me early, because they attended his funeral mass and repented. They are here because of your pain." But now I am starting to think, maybe it us, Aaron and I. Maybe it's our souls He still longs for. Maybe He wants to bring us closer to Him. We thought we were doing plenty for God, but all of a sudden we see how to do more. Our days are consumed with talks of God and prayer. I pray the rosary like never before. It's a special time for me with Max and Mary. I imagine her holding him and loving him like only a mother could, as she tells me about the different mysteries of her son's life.
I have always longed for a relationship with Mother Mary...and now, my baby Max is leading me to her. You see, Mary and I are in the same club. A club neither one of us wanted to join, but nonetheless, we are members. Mothers who have lost their sons - what a sad group, right? But how did Mary deal? Granted she got to see her son rise from the dead, but oh the brutality she witnessed that horrible Friday. Max died on a Friday too. Mary and I are linked forever.
I know that many people reading this are uncomfortable discussing Mary, her role in the church is viewed as controversial by many. But I am a Catholic...and I honor Mary. I don't worship her, I honor her. Who is closer to Jesus than His own mother? We all agree that she is the mother of God...I'd say that's pretty special. We know Jesus was sinless, honoring his mother and father as the commandment instructs. We are also called to live as Jesus...so if Jesus honored Mary, shouldn't I?
I don't worship statues, the pope or saints either. I worship Jesus...the trinity, Father, Son and Holy Spirit....nothing more. Contrary to popular belief, I do not believe that my works can bring me salvation. I know that Jesus is the only reason I will ever be saved. I am not looking for a debate, but I often feel attacked because of my faith. So I just wanted to clarify these few points. Being a Catholic is a big part of who I am, so my blog is going to reflect this. Like most of you, I am a Christian and we all serve the same God. I am not attempting to convert anyone...just writing about my own personal faith through the loss of my children.
I read somewhere that Mary's job for God is twofold...she delivered Jesus to the world, and she delivers us to Him. I pray that Max leads me to Mary, and Mary leads me to Jesus.
"And having come in, the angel said to her, "Rejoice, highly favored one, the Lord is with you; blessed are you among women." Luke 1:28
"Apart from the cross there is no other ladder by which we may get to heaven." -St. Rose of Lima
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ReplyDeleteSo well said Robyn. I to have a closer relationship with Mary since losing Tyler. I turned to her early on in my suffering because she understood the pain I felt. I still ask our blessed mother everyday to give my son a hug for me. Continued prayers for you, your family and all those who have lost a child.
ReplyDeleteMary is my direct line to the Lord...he always listened to her! Do what he says!
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