That's a long time...

Sometimes I close my eyes, and I would swear that Max is sitting here next to me.  I know his soul...and I don't doubt it connects with mine frequently.  I imagine that anyone who has lost someone close to them, even if they don't believe in an afterlife, feel this undeniable presence every once in a while.

I have pictures of Max and I together, both of us smiling happily.  You know, since Max died, I rarely take a picture when the right half of my face isn't blurry.    I thought it was just a fluke..but it happens too frequently.  It's only my face, no one else.  It happens at home...not when we are away.  There may be a scientific explanation, but I choose to think...maybe it is Max.  Maybe he is with me...smiling happily. 

Max in his usual spot..on my right. 

 


 

One of many "blurred face" photos

I miss Max so very much.  I try to remind myself that our separation is temporary.  I take it day by day.  I ask myself...can I get through the day without seeing Max...without holding him?  Yes...I can make it through this day.  Don't ask me if I can make it a week, a month, a year...that seems impossible.  But can I make it through this day?  Yes. 

 

A friend of mine once shared a story with me that I found comforting.  She told me of a woman who lost her fiance.  She dreamed of him.  She noticed he was wearing shorts one day, long sleeves the next.  She asked him what it was like...cold or hot?  He replied..."it's neither hot nor cold...it's perfect."  Then she asked him if he missed her.  And this is what I love...he answered, "Not really.  I feel like I just saw you yesterday, and I will see you tomorrow." 

 

Isn't that beautiful?!?  Our loved ones don't miss us...don't long for us.  They are completely happy being where they are...nothing but joy.  Our human minds only know time.  We can't begin to imagine a world where there is no such thing as a minute, an hour, a day.  To many people, heaven sounds boring.  Nobody wants to do anything for an eternity.  An eternity is so long!  Yes...it is, according to time, but there is no time in heaven.  There's nothing but carefree timelessness. 

 

In his "Be a Man" book, popular speaker and author, Father Larry Richards, illustrates eternity beautifully. 

 



If you live to be one hundred years old, your time on Earth would be equivalent to taking the smallest part of an atom and reducing it by a billion.  It's not much time at all, just a blink of an eye!

But eternity can be compared to when a man goes to the beach at Lake Erie, bends down, takes one grain of sand, one tiny, itty-bitty grain of sand, and he slowly takes one step.  It takes him ten thousand years to take one step and another ten thousand years to take another step.  This man starts slowly walking and it takes him a billion years to get to the top of Mount Everest, he drops one grain of sand and slowly, at ten thousand years a step, walks back to the lake.  It takes billions of years to get back to Lake Erie, and there he starts the process again.  When this man has taken every grain of sand from every single place on Earth - the bottom of all lakes, to the bottom of all oceans, the bottom of all little streams - and he slowly walks back, and when he has every grain of sand at the top of Mount Everest, then eternity is just beginning.  It's just beginning.   Yet, what we do in this little time on Earth determines where our eternity will be.  Our time on Earth is nothing, yet eternity is everything.
 

I try my best to choose my actions based on this belief.  Many people will say, "Life is short!  Live it up!"  I guess it just depends on how you view it.  I think, eternity is long, live for God.  We are all sinners.  Yes, but that doesn't mean we need to accept our imperfect state.  Jesus himself commands us, "you must therefore be perfect, just as your heavenly Father is perfect." Matthew 5:48

Our God is merciful, but His mercy is not a reason to sin.  Rather, His mercy is a reason for us to conform our lives to His will.  Living the life God wants for me is a struggle every day and I often fail.  But I imagine it's a million times easier than trying to live my life without Him.  I pray that when I meet God face to face, He will give me a hug, and tell me "Well done, faithful servant.  Well done."


"Simply believing in the existence of God is not exactly what I would call a commitment.  After all, even the devil believes that God exists!  Believing has to change the way we live." -Mother Angelica

"Whatever happens, conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ." Philippians 1:27