Something's Wrong

I gave Max a bottle, returned to my seat and we soon pulled out of the parking lot.   Aaron had barely put the car in drive before Morgan said Max was spitting his milk out.  He had milk all over his face.   I didn’t think much of it…I just told Morgan to pick up the bottle so it wasn’t leaking everywhere. 

Then, Max let out a horrible scream.   It was no ordinary cry.  I knew he was in pain.  At that moment, I knew something was wrong.  I told Morgan to get him out of his car seat.  I thought maybe something had bitten him…or maybe he just needed to burp.  I remember Aaron questioning my decision to get him out of his car seat while we were driving, but I thought I could make him feel better and buckle him back up in no time. 

But, then I saw him.  I saw him in Morgan’s arms…something was very wrong.  It looked like he was holding his breath.  He was shaking.  His right arm was curled up in a strange manner.  Yes, something was very wrong. 

I grabbed him and yelled, “Something’s wrong!  He’s choking!”  I flipped him over and started pounding on his back.  A million thoughts were racing through my head.   What did he swallow?  What could it be?  Why is he choking?  Why is this happening? 

Aaron pulled over the car into a restaurant parking lot.  He hopped out, grabbed Max and started doing the Heimlich maneuver on him.   I was yelling at him to be careful.  Our baby was being tossed around…but I knew the infant Heimlich didn’t work on him.  What else were we to do? 

At that time, I had no idea how bad it was.  It didn’t even cross my mind that I was going to lose my child.  Aaron and I lived very blessed lives.  We were two of the luckiest people I had ever met.  Nothing bad happened to us.  Everything just always worked out our way.   I was positive that Max would cough up whatever he swallowed, look at me with relief and start crying for me to comfort him.  I was wrong.

Aaron yelled at me to call 911.  I hadn’t even thought of it.  I grabbed my phone and suddenly I couldn’t remember how to find my keypad.  My hands were shaking and my mind wasn’t working right.  Finally…I got them on the phone. 

“911..what‘s your emergency?”

I start screaming…”my baby’s not breathing!  He’s choking!  My baby!” 

I remember laying Max in the grass.  I couldn’t find anything in his mouth.  His lips were blue.  I began CPR.   I knew he wasn’t breathing, I had to do something.  Aaron took over. 

On the phone they kept telling me to calm down.  Three different times they asked me my location.  I didn’t know where I was!  I knew I was in Edinburg.  I told them the name of the restaurant.  I kept yelling, “Edinburg!”   I ended up handing my phone to some random man who was walking down the highway.  He was able to give them the information they needed.

Some people from the restaurant came out to help.  The windows of the restaurant were full of faces watching our nightmare unfold.  One lady was a registered nurse.  She confirmed that Max wasn’t choking on anything and she performed CPR until the ambulance came. 

Aaron just kept saying, “Come on, Max.  Come on, buddy.  Hang in there!”  I was a wreck, pacing around the car.  Morgan was sitting in the car, crying…”I don’t want my brother to die.”  I told him Max would be fine, just pray.  He started praying, prayer after prayer.  “Our father who art in heaven.  Hail Mary full of grace…” 

Once the ambulance finally arrived they put Max in the back and Aaron crawled in with him.  They worked on him for a long time.  I expected them to show up and leave immediately.   “Why were they taking so long? Hurry up!” 

Aaron came out of the ambulance a couple times to update me.  “e’He’s okay.  They are working on him.”  I knew he wasn’t okay.  He brought me his shoes…his little brown shoes.  I knew it was bad. 

A kind lady from the restaurant offered to drive my car behind the ambulance.  I got in and I began to pray.

“Please God!  Please!  If it is your will, save my baby.  You can perform miracles at any time.  Perform one now and I will make sure that everyone knows how wonderful you are…all praise and glory will go to you.  Please God!  In the past I have prayed, your will be done, but please God…don’t allow this to happen.” 

Aaron got in the car, the ambulance pulled out and we followed behind.  I kept saying, “He is testing us!  We have to stay strong.”  By “he”, I meant Satan.   I believed Satan was testing our faith.  Would we stand by God through tragedy?  Would we blame God, or turn to God?  At that moment, as I watched an ambulance take my baby, my Maxipoo, I needed God.  I needed a miracle.  I needed hope. 

 

“In the events of life, you must recognize the divine will.  Adore and bless it, especially in the things which are the hardest for you.” – St. Padre Pio

“For this reason, when I could bear it no longer, I sent to find out about your faith; I was afraid that somehow the tempter had tempted you and that our labor had been in vain.” -1Thessalonians 3:5